"We expect to see a mourner in pain in the immediate aftermath of the death of a loved one. After that, grief persists invisibly. Others can't see it, but it never goes away. Instead, you learn to live with it, to move through your days and years accommodating your new reality.
But the true tragedy of losing someone you love unfolds over time. There's the loss itself, the empty space that used to be filled by that person-his voice, the sound of his footfalls in the hallway, the vace you inherited from him looking back at you. And then there's the fact that the sorrow you feel changes you, so that you are no longer the person he once knew."